今の私を知る人は、
「いつもニコニコしてて、大変なことなんてなさそ～」
「能天気で何も考えてなさそ～」
「苦労なんて知らなそう」
「バカだから毎日楽しいんだろうなぁ～」
みたいなイメージを持つ人も多々いらっしゃる（笑）うんこだなんだって毎日騒いでるし、実際バカなのは間違ってないけどね( ´∀｀ )

そんな私も、『実は』皆様と同じ。なんの挫折もなく何十年も生きてきたわけではなく、人並みには苦労しています（笑）。 人のために2回ほど雲の上（あっちの世界）を見てきていますし、3回目は自分自身で梯子をかけて旅立ちかけました。それでもたくさんの方々に支えていただき、今は無事に下界で「うんこ祭り」をしています（笑）。

私は普段、ヤギだハーブだマレーシアだうんこだと言いたい放題やってるわけだけど、実は20年くらい「西洋医学のみが医学」だと思ってる堅物でした。10代中ごろから35歳くらいまでは西洋医学のみを信じ、20年ほど精神薬も飲んできました。
飲んだことがない方には想像しにくいかもしれないけれど、当時は、感情をどこかに置いてきてしまった空虚なロボットみたいで、世界と切り離されているがそこに存在している…みたいな感覚。

断薬をしたときには完全に「逆名探偵コナン（見た目は大人、中身は子供）」状態。そして、食べ物のおいしさに20年ぶりに気づいた「リアル浦島太郎」
冗談抜きで、世界の明るさに涙が出るほどだった。

お嬢だったゆえに、子供のころから健康診断や日々のメンテナンス、予防医学など、病院に行く機会は多い環境でした。中学生の頃に倒れてからは、「頭がおかしい」と言われ精神科にも出入りするように。 結局、睡眠時間の確保とメンタルコントロールのために薬が出されるようになり、1錠が2錠に、1日1回が2回にと増え、毎月病院に通う常連さんと化していきました。

「合う薬が見つかれば、いつか治る（普通になれる）」。そう思ってた。

In reality, the medications kept increasing, I developed a tolerance, and they stopped working. Despite that, I was constantly told I was 'abnormal as a person,' and as I switched medications, I became further detached from reality in a negative loop. Looking back now, I might have wanted to escape my home environment at the time and wished for escapism. I just think it was a phase of being a chuunibyou (lol)
If I were a parent now and saw my past self, I would do everything in my power to stop it. That would be 'recommending psychiatry to a child & prescribing psychiatric drugs including sleeping pills.☠' In the end, after turning 35, I was diagnosed with 'schizophrenia' and told it was incurable.
"But I've been given so many diagnoses over the years that were said to be curable?!"
"What was the meaning of those 20 years of medication?!"
I was shocked to realize that instead of healing, my mind and body had only continued to worsen.

In my despair, my screws came loose even further, and I started tapering off the medication on my own. But at the same time, severe withdrawal symptoms began to occur in my body.

• Uncontrollable trembling
• Unconscious hyperactivity
• Abnormal sense of loss and mysterious high tension
• Buggy sense of time (sometimes speeding up, sometimes slowing down)
• My brain was in a state of extreme excitement, and I couldn't sleep a wink.
• Then, I would fall into a deep sleep for days (※However, I lost a tremendous amount of weight)

Simply put, it was completely drug withdrawal symptoms. From there, I focused on detoxification, and it took me a year to finally overcome that 'abnormal person phase.' When I regained the ability to sleep and live my daily life on my own, and my numbed emotions returned, I was deeply moved from the bottom of my heart.

However, my nerves often became overstretched and hypersensitive, and to suppress that, I became obsessively engrossed in my work. I couldn't build good relationships, and I couldn't control the planning and allocation of my work. Was I really strange after all...? Because I was overly considerate to compensate for that, my stress levels reached their limit.
After losing nearly 30kg in 3 months, I snapped and collapsed.
From then on, it became difficult even to get up, and my hellish full-body pain worsened to the point where I had to crawl to walk or even go to the bathroom.

From here, the condition further worsened in a mysterious loop with the 'White Tower' (hospital).

[Mysterious Move ①] Taken to Hospital A by ambulance, but told 'no abnormalities.' Sent home with instructions to go to another hospital ( ´∀｀ )

【謎ムーブ②】 翌日に再度倒れ、意識朦朧。家族が救急要請するも、A病院は搬送受け入れ拒否。救急車内で意識が戻ったため搬送を断る。翌朝、家族に運んでもらい街の大きめの病院を受診するが、「保険証もすべて返すので今すぐA病院へ行ってください！」と待合室で受診拒否。前日断られたA病院に行くと、やっぱり「異常なし」。そして「他の病院に行け」と言われる。

【謎ムーブ③】 家で安静にするも、別日に激しい腹痛で産婦人科へ。すると「今すぐ救急車でA病院へ送ります！」と病院から病院へ救急搬送。A病院で追加検査をすると「お腹の中に腫瘍と出血を認める」となるが、対応は「経過観察」。通院を重ね、全身痛や歩行困難を訴えるも「異常なし、精神的な問題」。精神科を再受診するも「異常なし」。
そのうち座ることもできなくなり、トイレに這うことすら不可能に。それでも「異常なし」「経過観察」……。そして最終的に「A病院ではもう何もできません」と、腫瘍と出血を放置したまま追い出され、別のB病院を紹介される。

【謎ムーブ④】 紹介されたB病院でまた異常が見つかると、再びA病院へ回され、そして「異常なし、帰れ」と言われる。

寝ていても痛い、座っていても痛い、お風呂に入っていても痛い。 睡眠をとりたくても、激痛で目が覚めてしまう。そしてどこにかかっても「手に負えない！」とA病院に送られ、「異常なし」ムーブを繰り返される。そんな地獄のような状態が、半年以上続きました。結果として、最終的に他の病院で「難病」の診断を受けたけれど、「治らない」と言われても受け入れる気はサラサラなかった。

なぜなら、 【薬で『良くなる』／経過観察で『変化を見る』という医療システム。】
それが西洋医学で、その医学は私が統合失調症となるまで誰も治せなかった事実があるから。
彼らが『治らない』と言っているに過ぎない。断薬をしただけで、あんなにも辛かった日常が明るくなったっていう実体験があったから尚更だった。

西洋医学がすべて悪いとは言わない。でも、西洋医学のほとんどの医師は「教科書に載っていないこと」や「自分の知らない病態」の原因追及や治療を、ただ諦めているだけだと感じました。もともと、戦場での救急治療（怪我など）に特化して生まれた学問。だからこそ、慢性病（身体の内側の病気）の根本治療は専門外。だからこそ、医師たちは自分の知っているパターンに当てはまらない私を否定し続けた。彼らはプライドが異常に高い。だからこそ、ごろにゃんしてこない患者は大っ嫌いなのだ。

「原因など知らん！出す薬もない！これ以上検査も治療もできない！何がしたいんだ！」と言い放った気持ちも今なら理解できます。(医者ってビジネス化しちゃいけないと思うけどね）

Honestly, what I wanted from the hospital at first wasn't a diagnosis, but superficial symptomatic treatment. I would have accepted anything as long as the pain disappeared. But I still don't understand why they wouldn't even give me painkillers.
"Your pain is a misunderstanding! Since the test results don't show anything, you shouldn't be in pain. Therefore, you don't need painkillers. But please come back next week. Okay, that's all. You can go home."
... I still don't understand that, even now (lol)

And the pain kept getting worse. If you can't prescribe medication, fine, then find the cause! I pleaded, and despite them finding a tumor and bleeding, I was kicked out of the hospital I had been visiting for 6 months while enduring the pain.
"This is the result of trusting them. Then, I'll stop relying on them."
I decided it was pointless to beg people who were so full of pride, who had set limits on treatment and were overconfident in their own correctness, to "understand me." By then, I didn't have even a millimeter of emotional capacity left to consider others.

From there, my journey to find the cause on my own began. However, it wasn't like I could find the cause right away.

The frustration of not knowing the cause or how to treat it. The intense pain and lack of sleep caused my emotional restraints to collapse, and due to the effects of the intractable disease, my cognitive functions also rapidly declined. I couldn't focus, so I could barely read, and I couldn't even retain memories from 3 seconds ago. I couldn't remember anything from the past.
"I'm in constant pain, need diapers, and can't remember anything, yet no one reaches out to help me! No one tries to find the cause with me! I don't even have human dignity!" I screamed like a madwoman every day. I was truly at my limit.

Even while screaming, I was aware that I was mentally breaking down.

I seriously decided to end my life and was one step away from obtaining a medical certificate for euthanasia in Switzerland, translating it, and submitting the application.

It was precisely at that moment that I encountered nutrition science.

"There are doctors who are curing intractable diseases with nutrition science."

I believed that one sentence I saw on social media, searched for a clinic, and visited it was the beginning of everything. I took a photo of the social media screen as it was, took notes, and forgetting the content dozens or hundreds of times, I decided "this is my last resort" and managed to get to the appointment with my family's cooperation.

結果として、栄養学を基礎とした治療により、わずか2週間で改善の兆候が見え、1ヶ月で認知機能が戻り始め、痛みも軽減。そして6ヶ月後には仕事に復帰することができました。

さらなる体調改善を求めて栄養学を必死に学び、実践していく中で、ある日ふと気がついたんだよね。
「あれ？薬を飲んでいないのに、以前の自分よりとてつもなく『普通の人』に近づいている……」と。

意識がどこかに逸れない、逸れても自分の意志で戻せる、一度にたくさんの声を聴く聖徳太子にならなくていい、脳内の終わらない連想ゲーム（マジカルバナナ）がピタッと止まる……。これは、本当に震えるほどの感動でした。 そこで初めて、「あ、私はADHD（発達特性）があったのかもしれない」と気づいたんです。だからあんなに仕事も回せなかったのかと。
そして、その特性をコントロールするために必要なのは、薬でも根性でもなく、他ならぬ「食（栄養）」なのだと身をもって知りました。

種々の慢性病や、発達などの先天的特性に対する「栄養学からのアプローチ」。この情報がもっと広く世の中に届いてほしいと、切に願うようになったのはこの頃。もっと早く知りたかったと本気で思ったし、こんなちょっとした食事への手間と配慮で人生がこんなにも楽なのかと、本当に生まれ変わった気持だった。

ハッキリ言って、発達も難病も一生付き合っていく特性であり、薬でパッと治るものではない。
その上、人間の体は一生強い薬に耐えられるようには作られていない。

私はこの事実に気づくまでに、35年という歳月を費やした。薬で治るものでもない。一時的に抑えられても、体は持たない。そう、だから一番大切なのは、『一生続けられるケア』と『トレーニング』。それだけで、薬に頼るよりも数百倍、生きることが楽で、楽しくて、幸せになります。

This isn't limited to developmental characteristics, but I truly feel that people who are struggling and suffering now are...

• able to recognize the fragility of the human body
• able to logically choose from a wide range of options after becoming aware of them
• prepared to accept knowledge that shatters their values up to this point.
  

It's honestly very difficult to break down the established concepts that others have built.
That's precisely why, before it becomes painful, it's essential to create a foundation (environment) where you can access "nutrition as an option" as early as possible.
That's why I continue to recommend to many people a place where professionals teach the nutritional approach.

>>Incidentally, this is a LINE group chat called "Doctor Nutrition."

This is a group chat for a supplement company, an organization called "Nutri-Z." The current number of members has surpassed 1,500.
Anyone can join anonymously, and it's free. There is absolutely no obligation to purchase products.
A nutrition counselor named Mr. Shimano answers individual questions from a nutritional perspective.
It's a truly invaluable LINE group that provides information for everyone's health.

By the way, regarding Nutri-Z's supplements, I'll just promote them a bit myself... (lol)
They sell products after conducting their own experiments, such as "How long and in what quantity do they work in the human body?" The product management is at the level of medical supplements, with many being handled by various medical institutions. Regarding the content, unlike commercial supplements where most of it is "sugar," you can efficiently ingest the ingredients!

This is not an affiliate promotion. I'm just sharing it on my own (lol)

I am now sharing my experiences as a grassroots movement. I want to reduce the number of people like my "second self" who suffered to the point of contemplating death. That's all.

The reason I decided to move to Malaysia. The biggest underlying factor was "my own treatment," including the practice of nutrition. Incidentally, the goat is a symbol of my "healing of memories" that emerged from working backward from that (lol)

Finally. I don't think "nutrition alone can cure everything," and I don't want my readers to think so either. If you are already experiencing symptoms that threaten your daily life and want to see visible results,

1. accessing correct information
2. understanding your own "characteristics and tendencies" which vary individually
3. Know that human bodies are not all the same (there is no one-size-fits-all cure).
4. Understand the interactions, such as how taking only Vitamin B6 by itself is almost meaningless (using minerals as an example).

I hope you will gain solid knowledge of these things. Also, know that there are various fields of medicine besides nutrition. My remission this time was not solely due to nutrition. Even with knowledge and experience, everyone is different. That's how human bodies are. But at the same time, with knowledge and experience, everyone can become healthy in the same way. There are such principles too.

I sincerely hope that moments filled with your smiles will visit you, more and more, as soon as possible. Please cherish those moments. 😊

Thank you for reading to the end. (⌒∇⌒) See you💗